Peers at UCLA

I'll talk about bullying and habbits after this because I feel that this is a very helpful and important personal experiance.

I went to a group called Peers at UCLA to help me become more social and interact better with people. It was a fantastic group I highly recommend checking it out. I went to this group last year and it has helped me so much. There were 10 of us I think. I was the oldest and there were only 3 girls including myself. There was an older group but they were going to talk about....older adult things. I was 17 and the age cut off was 6-16 ( i think) and 18-25, I chose the younger one because personally I think I have a younger mentality. This group has taught me social cues and acceptances, how to be social, and so much more. Here are some of the things I learned.

1) Don't be a conversation hog. I know that this happens when I talk about something that I love, I tend to become very excited ( and a little loud) and just want to talk about that. This tends to happen. The problem with this is that the other person in the conversation will get bored and uninterested. So just keep track of what your saying ( it's hard I know I'm still working on it) and make sure that the other person get's a chance to talk. So stay calm and pass the conversation. Think of it as ping pong.

for example,  Me: "I'm really into animation and drawing what about you?"
                     My friend "That's cool I tried drawing when I was younger. Do you watch Studio Ghibi animation?"
                     Me: "Yeah! but I have yet to see Tototro."

Etc Etc.... my friend is from South Korea so she asked me about Studio Ghibi since she knows I love drawing and she likes animation too.

Which brings me to the point of...

2) Common Interests: When talking to someone be inquisitive but don't be an interrogator. Ask them what they like and then when you find something talk about it and then go from there. If you meet someone who you don't have anything in common with it's most likely that you won't hang out but that doesn't mean you can't be friendly!

3) Interrupting: Don't do it! I know it's hard and I had a really tough time with this because I would think that people were done talking but I was wrong soooooo watch for those social cues!! Most likely I think that would be lengthy pauses in a conversation. But also stay on topic! If the topic is on cats don't start talking about llamas. You can smoothly transition it to something you want to talk about. Just don't jump in to it.

4) Personal Space: Everyone has an imaginary bubble around them. Basically if you don't know them or just met them don't get all up in their grill! I loved (still do) hugging people but I also know my limits. I would guess that the personal bubble size is the width of someone holding a big beach ball in front of them.

5) Hang out! Get social: It's very crucial to hang out and be social. I know that you might want to play by yourself because you want to do it your way but sadly we don't always get our way. Play with your friends and make sugestions. It's very good to interact with people don't seal yourself away from the world. Dogs don't count, I know that they're cute and fluffy, I would see a dog just pay attention to the dog and not the people.

6) keep in touch: call your friends see how they're doing and if they want to hang out. Still working on this but I'm getting better.

7) Eye contact: always look someone in the eye when you talk to them. I know that it seems personal and scary but it's polite and shows that you are listening. I had issues with this, It just seemed so intimidating and I could hear them, why did I have to look at them? Image if everyone just talked to each other while starring at some random object. Annoying and freaky right?

This is all I can remember at the momment but I hope that this advice helps parents and kids alike! Check this group out,  It's called Peers and it take place at UCLA. I know that you have to fill out an application  for this, ( I don't know why) but this program was really helpful.